


light carries on endlessly

by aisu10



Category: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
Genre: Bioluminescence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Spoilers, glow kink, i am actually nice to valerian this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 19:31:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11630376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aisu10/pseuds/aisu10
Summary: valerian finally opens up to laureline about the princess, and finds out that he might not be as lonely as he feels.





	light carries on endlessly

ever since they got back from their mission to alpha, laureline has noticed that valerian has been acting strangely. at first she blamed his lack of flirting on the fact that he'd finally gotten past first base with her while they were trapped in that pod out in space; but when he didn't give her so much as a glance this morning, she started to suspect something more serious was going on. she did her best to give him his space for as long as she could tolerate the worry eating at her gut, but eventually the acid reached her heart and she went to look for him.   
  
she finds him sitting on the floor by the largest window on the intruder, literally staring out into space with a solemn expression weighing on his features. trying to hide her concern, laureline makes her way casually across the room and towers over him. he's still in his sleepclothes, dressed in loose shorts and a button-up top, barefoot and brooding. laureline makes her presence known by conspicuously clearing her throat, a move which he barely responds to, only glancing up halfheartedly for a moment.   
  
"you haven't tried to kiss me all morning," laureline informs him. "are you sick?"   
  
_ "ha ha," _ valerian deadpans sarcastically, then adds in a more serious, guarded tone: "no, i'm fine."   
  
displeased with his dismissive response, laureline continues innocently: "should i have alex check you over?"   
  
before he can protest, the clear, robotic voice of their AI system interrupts with an instantaneous analysis.   
  
"major valerian is showing no signs of physical illness. whatever ails him lies in the realm of emotions."   
  
_ "thank you, _ alex," valerian mutters.   
  
"emotions?" laureline repeats, cocking an eyebrow. "you have those?"   
  
"i do have  _ one, _ and it's  _ irritation," _ valerian says pointedly. "i said i'm fine."   
  
laureline sighs and finally abandons her facade of playfulness for a more serious expression and tone, brows furrowing and lips twisting downward at their corners. "listen, valerian, i know you. and this is not how you act when you're fine. what's wrong?"   
  
"could you just leave me alone?" valerian blurts out, almost interrupting the end of her question. when she doesn't respond, he adds an imploring,  _ "please?" _   
  
laureline pauses. she feels bad arguing with him after he's said "please" -- a very rare occurrence -- but her worry overpowers her. something tells her that being alone is the  _ last _ thing he really wants. call it women's intuition or just plain _ logic,  _ but she can tell without a doubt that he's feeling vulnerable and lashing out to hide it. staring down hard at the side of his face, since he seems to be  _ refusing _ to make eye contact, she asks,   
  
"...is this about the princess?"   
  
_ bingo. _ valerian blinks up at her in uncomfortable shock and she knows she's hit the nail on the head. but of course, he's not going to admit that without a fight.   
  
"no."   
  
laureline crosses her arms over her chest, shifting her stance in frustration. "then is it about me, then? have i done something wrong?"   
  
_ "no!" _ valerian almost shouts, voice rising urgently before settling back down, low and sincere. "no, never."   
  
laureline continues to regard him with blue eyes filled with compassion. she's not going to leave until she gets some answers out of him, and she knows that he knows it. after a long pause, he sighs reluctantly.   
  
"...how did you know?"   
  
sensing that his walls are finally coming down, laureline slowly lowers herself to his level, at first crouching and then sitting across from him with her legs tucked to the side. she stares again at his obstinate profile, at the hard line of his brow and his pink-tinted cheek.   
  
"i saw the way you looked when her mother touched you," she tells him, voice soft and gentle. "when she spoke to her, through you. i've never seen you so vulnerable."   
  
valerian finally meets her eyes, blue blinking at blue for a single moment before he stares back out at the stars, pressing his temple against the cool glass. she can tell he's uncomfortable with her statement, uncomfortable with revealing his inner feelings -- uncomfortable with laying himself bare for her so she can sift through his softest parts like she so desires. she knows he won't let her in easily. she'll have to keep trying.   
  
"tell me what it felt like," laureline encourages, gentle as she can be. "having her inside you."   
  
valerian frowns, dark brows shadowing his eyes when they dart back to meet hers.   
  
"it really isn't  _ funny _ anymore, laureline --"   
  
"no, valerian, i'm completely serious!" laureline insists, annoyed that he'd even think she was joking in a time like this. only  _ he  _ would be so stupid. again she urges him, tone soft but firm, "tell me what it felt like."   
  
when she gets no response, she adds,   
  
_ "please." _   
  
valerian eyes her dubiously, but after a moment the enmity drains from his expression and he's left exposed with blue eyes watering in the light of the stars.   
  
"at first i didn't really notice," he begins to explain, choosing his words carefully. "i kept thinking about mül, but i thought that was just because of the dream. but then... as we got closer... i started to feel like i was being pulled toward them, like... from the  _ inside. _ it was like -- it was like i couldn't focus on anything because my thoughts just kept wandering... to her... to  _ them." _   
  
valerian pauses, chewing fretfully on his bottom lip. he looks like he's getting a little choked up, and laureline inches closer to comfort him, her full attention on him.   
  
"a-and when we finally found them, and they looked at us like that -- i -- it was just -- i dunno. and then she was  _ gone, _ just like that."   
  
laureline notes his use of the plural tense in describing himself and the princess in one, and she can feel the loss heavy in his words.   
  
"and now?"   
  
valerian sighs, lying his head back against the inner edge of the window frame, staring up at the ceiling.   
  
"now i just feel...  _ empty. _ and the worst part is, i think -- i think maybe i've  _ always _ felt this way, and this... this just made me  _ realize _ it."   
  
by the end of his statement he's bowed his head again and fixed his gaze on his own hands, clenched into anxious fists on his lap. heart aching for him, laureline tilts her head and repeats, "you feel empty?"   
  
"yeah, like..." his voice has shrunk into a vulnerable, almost childish mumble that's miles away from his usual confident drawl, awkward and stumbling as he struggles to find the words to describe feelings he's never voiced. "l-like there's just something  _ missing, _ some… some big _ hole.  _ and when she was inside me... she filled it. with... with purpose, with...  _ love." _   
  
mournful tears sting his eyes. it’s no wonder he feels so bereft. motherless since age five, a distant father and a childhood ended too soon. a life spent racking up medals and  _ flings _ but never friends who would stick around… until now. choking back the lump in his throat, he tells laureline:   
  
"the only other person who's ever made me feel that way... is  _ you." _   
  
his eyes meet hers, watery and overflowing with sincerity, and a wry smile tugs at his lips.   
  
"maybe that's why i want to marry you so bad. so i won't feel so alone."   
  
laureline almost forgets to breathe for a moment. never before has she been able to read so much raw emotion in valerian's clear blue eyes. she's so grateful to him for opening up to her like this; hearing him admit his deepest fears means more to her than a proposal ever could. reaching out, she takes one of his hands between two of hers and holds it tight.   
  
"you're not alone, valerian," she reassures him firmly. "i'm here. and i always will be."   
  
valerian's eyes, formerly fixed on their entwined hands between them, lift to meet hers in surprise and he asks her, tentative but hopeful,   
  
"is... is  _ that _ a yes?"   
  
"it doesn't  _ matter _ if it's a yes or a no," laureline tells him, almost amused at the simplicity of the thought.  _ it's so much more than that. _ "i'd be here with you whether you married me or not."   
  
valerian smiles with trembling lips in spite of his tears. heart surging with fondness for him, laureline lifts his hand to her lips and presses a gentle kiss between his knuckles, lingering there to taste the warmth of his skin. her eyes fall shut, and so do valerian's -- both savoring the tender moment between them. when laureline's eyes flutter open several fleeting heartbeats later, she's puzzled to find that her vision is bathed in blue. lifting her head, she stares down at valerian's hand and her eyes widen in shock.   
  
"valerian?"   
  
swallowing thickly, he opens his eyes to meet hers in a look of confusion. laureline tries to keep her voice calm.   
  
"valerian, you're -- you're  _ glowing." _ __  
  
both of their bewildered gazes fall on valerian's outstretched hand, cradled between laureline's. a faint blue glow is emitting from beneath his skin, running along his veins in tiny living currents. as they watch, it begins to fade away, but as soon as laureline rubs her thumb over his knuckles (ignoring valerian's muffled noise of alarm) it starts up again, brighter this time.    
  
"what... what is it?" valerian's trembling voice asks. he seems afraid to move a muscle, but his fingers twitch involuntarily in her grasp as the glow snakes across them and fades about his fingernails. all laureline can think, as her wide eyes reflect the glow, is that it seems  _ familiar. _ she'd seen this same type of bioluminescence in the pearls, and even on valerian's own face when they'd caressed him in place of their daughter. it seems crazy to think that this peculiar trait could have been passed onto him by them, but she has no other explanation. they had said that pearls turn into pure energy when they perish, right? maybe some of that energy has lingered in the form of light.   
  
"could it be -- the  _ princess?" _ laureline asks. "could she have left something behind?"   
  
valerian looks helplessly back at her, completely dumbfounded. "but...  _ how?" _   
  
"maybe she didn't fully leave you," laureline muses quietly. "maybe she never will."   
  
the thought is oddly comforting, giving valerian hope that maybe the people in his life that have left him may really still be there with him, in some form. the princess, bubble... his mother. but still he's apprehensive of the nature of this physical change to his biology, and how permanent it may be.   
  
"so i'm going to glow...  _ forever." _ __  
  
"i have no idea," laureline whispers, awestruck as she watches the glow fade away once more. her brows tighten thoughtfully upon her forehead.   
  
"it seems to only happen when you're touched --"   
  
laureline twists her arm and in one smooth move presses their palms together, watching as his whole hand fills with light, glowing from wrist to fingertips.    
  
"-- like _ this." _   
  
valerian's jaw falls slack as he stares at the back of his hand, at the shifting light beneath his skin that illuminates the shadows of his bones. laureline bounces her fingertips gently against his and each of them light up like tiny fireflies with each touch.   
  
"i wonder..." laureline murmurs, and valerian swallows nervously as she then flips his hand palm-up and begins to gingerly walk the fingers of her other hand across his wrist, following the path of the veins that light up beneath her touch. valerian holds perfectly still aside from the measured rise and fall of his chest, refusing to budge even when her fingers crawl across the ticklish curve of his inner elbow. with his lip bitten between his teeth, he watches the glow follow her everywhere she goes, traveling up his bicep and disappearing underneath his sleeve when her fingers come to a stop at his shoulder.    
  
"valerian..." laureline murmurs slowly as her hand creeps over to the collar of his shirt and curls in the fabric. she blinks up at him with her curious blues. "...may i?"    
  
valerian gives a shaky nod, just as anxious as her to learn the extent of this strange power. both her hands move to his shirt and unbutton it along his sternum, then pull it open and off his shoulders to expose all the naked skin of his torso, pale and dotted with constellations of freckles here and there. for a moment she just stares down at him and he hardly breathes, suddenly more self-conscious than he's ever been. then finally she lifts a single finger and taps it against a mole near his collarbone, stifling a gasp when a brilliant glow spreads across his chest, radiating out from the origin of her touch. it's so incredible she can hardly stand it and she curls herself closer to him, catching his bewildered mouth in a kiss. one of her hands reaches up to cradle his jaw and when she pulls away, that whole side of his face is lit up in pinks and blues and his lips are glowing a hot pearlescent white. he looks stunned but doesn't make any move to stop her, melting receptively into her touch. she can't resist placing kisses all over his face to make it glow more brightly than a blush ever could, nipping the tears from beneath his eyelashes and brushing her lips over his nose and chin and forehead, pausing between each peck to admire the affects of her touch. all the while she runs her fingers over his cheek, watching the colors brighten each time her skin meets his, completely in awe of him.   
  
valerian simply shivers against her, pleasure mixing with anxiety to create nervous (and most likely  _ glowing _ ) butterflies inside his stomach. eventually he murmurs,   
  
"am i still...  _ human?" _   
  
"you're  _ beautiful," _ laureline purrs passionately into his ear, pressing a kiss to the arch of his cheekbone before traveling lower and leaving a trail of glowing lip-prints down the column of his neck. a shaky smile crosses his face.   
  
"...i guess that's not such a bad thing to be."   
  
laureline emits a bubble of laughter as she pulls away, her own face flushed but not nearly as colorful as his. their eyes sparkle when they meet.   
  
"thanks," valerian tells her then, bashful but honest. "for -- being here."  _ (for listening to me, for knowing what i need, for  _ **_loving_ ** _ me.) _ __  
  
__ "always," laureline reiterates, kissing him on the lips once more. the two fall into a comfortable silence after that as laureline occupies herself with tracing her fingers over his chest to create swirls of color under his skin. her canvas is never still, swelling with the air entering his lungs, but she doesn't mind. his breathing is much calmer now anyway, now that he's getting used to the strange glow.   
  
lazily she drags her fingers down his torso, tapping on each rib to light it up as she passes, then slides them over his stomach to his waistband and pauses to watch the colors dance around his navel. her gaze settles on the front of his shorts for a moment and she sucks her bottom lip between her teeth before her eyes flash devilishly up to his.   
  
"do you think --?"   
  
valerian looks a little pale at the implied thought, but nevertheless seizes the opportunity to flirt, albeit a bit weakly.   
  
"...do you wanna find out?"   
  
"maybe later," laureline chuckles, drawing her fingers back up his torso to splay her hand over his heart while she plants another kiss on his mouth with her smiling lips. she tilts her head down afterward, letting their foreheads press against each other as together they watch the light pulse outward from beneath her palm in time with the lively beating of his heart.   
  
valerian feels another radiant smile stretching across his face and tears squeeze from the corners of his eyes again, but this time, they're not born of loss. no, now he's crying because, sitting here with the woman he loves more than anything in the universe, he can't find a single trace of the emptiness he'd felt before.


End file.
